You meditate daily. You take Yoga classes diligently. You chant, pray, eat a healthy(ish) diet and try to avoid negativity at every turn. Yet perhaps on a basis more regular than you’d care to admit publicly, the statement that is the title of this blog enters your mind.
Exasperated, you sigh, groan, maybe even (gasp) swear a little.
And you chant the mantra: What the hell is wrong with everyone?
In a moment of surrender, perhaps you even raise your arms to Creator, imploring
What the hell is wrong with everyone?
Like an enlightened Howard Beale, you have transmuted your angry-as-hell side. But there is no escaping it. Everywhere you look. Everywhere you go…
You are surrounded by rude, selfish, inconsiderate, lazy, narcissistic people.
They just don’t get it.
And so no matter the measures you go to in order to maintain your serenity and spiritual focus, you find the onslaught of negativity from others to be daunting. How is one to keep their positive vibes flowing in the face of all this?
Studies in Social Psychology have shown that we are more likely to rate others’ undesirable behavior as part of a personality flaw while excusing the same behavior when we engage in it ourselves. This is because we know our circumstances. We don’t always know the circumstances of others. That person who stumbles in late to a meditation circle and noisily kicks off their shoes, disrupting your flow of chi seems to be a rude thoughtless jerk.
In fact, try as you might to get back to your serene place, you find yourself saying over and over in your head ‘what the hell is wrong with that selfish rude person?’
But if you reflect honestly on the time you were the one stumbling in late to a class….
“that was different!” your ego interrupts. “I was late for a good reason! I had to stop along the way and help an old lady across the street, save a cat from a tree and put out a fire!”
Thus we place our own behavior in the context of our situations, reserving judgment only for those whose situations we don’t know. What if there was no such thing as a stupid, selfish, lazy, crazy, narcissistic, toxic person? What if all of our behaviors- the good bad and ugly- were byproducts of situations and internal motivations colliding together?
We may not be able to know everyone’s situation, but what if there was a way to understand our core motivations as well as the guiding motivations of others? By using the Queen Up! system to explore the core energetic powers within us all, we can begin to understand why we each feel driven to act the way that we do. We can understand and empathize with those in our lives who push our buttons, or who seem to be irresponsible, thoughtless or careless. By understanding the core powers and their role in our world view, priorities and motivations we can begin to look at relationships from a different perspective.
Perhaps we can heal our relationships, set better boundaries, gain empathy. We can mutually benefit from our differences and commonalities. We can better appreciate the gifts our loved ones bring to the relationship even when they act in ways we would not. Most importantly, we can get back to embracing our gifts and life path without feeling like others’ actions are interfering with our growth and security.
Angela Kaufman June 19th 2018
Learn more about the Four Core Powers that shaped your motivation, improve your relationship and understand others with the help of the Tarot Queens. Angela will be presenting a fabulous workshop in October. Please click this link to find how you can join us.